What I've learnt in recovery so far

I seriously contemplated writing this post, being so early on in recovery. However, there are some little things that I’ve learnt/am still learning along the way, which I thought might be useful to share for those on a similar path to my own.

Eating Disorder Awareness Week

I was once the girl who smothered her toast in butter and went back for seconds, and thirds, until she was full. I was the girl who ate cheesecake multiple times a week, whose favourite chocolate bar was a snickers, and who lunched on supernoodle sandwiches on many occasions. A girl who loved bacon sandwiches & wasn’t afraid to admit that she loved the occasional big mac. I was the girl that would get home from school on a Friday and spend the entire weekend lazing around in her comfies, without even contemplating moving. I was also the girl that loved all sorts of exercise from running, skiing, swimming and walks. The girl who loved fruit & vegetables as much as she loved chocolate and cheese.
My point being? I was balanced. The only time ‘guilt’ occurred in my life, was if I had said something without thinking or accidently let a door go on somebody.

Meet Ted

This weeks post is a very short one to introduce the newest addition to my family. Meet Ted, he is going to be appearing quite regular on the blog, my social media, in conversations-  everywhere basically! I’ve come to accept the fact that I’m going to be one of them annoying people who never stops talking about the pup – updating everyone when he sleeps through the night or does his first trick. But you know what, I’m proud to be a crazy dog lover.  So who is Ted? He’s a 9 week old Australian Labradoodle. He’s got through his first week in his brand new home and is settling in like a dream! Of course the next few weeks are going to be filled with toilet training, hiding slippers whilst we get through the teething process, first walks and most importantly long, snuggly naps together! I’ll be keeping you pupdated on the blog, but I can honestly say that I am already head over heels, madly in love with him, but I mean how could I not be!

For my future self...

From time to time we all lose motivation, it can happen for many reasons such as a bad mood, tiredness or that we just feel a bit crappy. In times like these, I’m a big believer in doing things for our future self, because even if our present self doesn’t appreciate them, the likelihood is our future self will. This started out as things like doing the dishes straight away, instead of early in the morning – even if doing them was the last thing I felt like, it allowed future Kirsty an extra 5 minutes in bed, which of course she’d be grateful for! Or sitting down to do an assignment, even if you’d rather be snuggled up watching that Netflix series you’ve been binge watching. You know that getting it done will save future you from a load of stress and sleepless nights trying to do it at the very last minute. You also know, that although it may feel pointless now, when you get whatever qualification it is that you’re working towards, you’ll be so glad you did the work. Future you will be proud!

What solo travel taught me

An entire year has passed since the day I left everything behind to pursue my dream of travelling to Australia. I can’t even begin to put in to words the nerves and excitement I felt! Australia was the place that I had dreamed of visiting for as long as I can remember, so February 2018 was the month that I stepped on a plane to begin my solo adventure. I spent just under three months travelling the east coast of Australia and exploring the beautiful beaches of Bali. My trip was filled with the most amazing experiences, however also came with facing a lot of challenges, overcoming obstacles and facing the unknown. I wouldn’t change a second of my travels, I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to see the places I’ve seen, experience the amazing things I did and to meet the people that I would never have had the chance to otherwise. Most of all, I learnt a lot during my time away. Considering my travels feel a thousand miles away from my current circumstances, I thought it would be nice to reflect on all the things I discovered from my little adventure.

Mistaking Rest for Failure

We live in a world that thrives on productivity, getting things done and succeeding in all elements of life. A world where ‘settling’ is frowned upon. Many of us seem to work extremely hard to achieve a goal and then barely allow ourselves 5 minutes of pride, before jumping to the next goal. It’s almost impossible to relax, to live in the moment, to embrace exactly where we are.

We live in a world in which we proudly say ‘we’ve not stopped’ or ‘have been so busy’, yet shamefully mistake rest for laziness or failure. Are you someone that can relate? Welcome to the club, you’re not alone by any means! If you know me, or have been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know that I’m very big on to-do lists, exceeding goals, and basically just getting shit done! I never thought that there was such thing as ‘too busy’, but there is. I was. I kept my self so busy in fact, that I didn’t even realise just how unwell I had become.

Dealing with the January Diet Craze

January, the month that’s known as the calm after the storm, yet also the month that everyone is going at 100 miles per hour to follow the whole ‘new year, new me’ band wagon. It’s the month that the gyms get much busier and diet culture hits its peak as everyone is working towards ‘working Christmas off’. Everyone you talk to seems to be starting some new diet and discussing what they’ve decided to cut out, how many times they’re exercising , how much weight they’re losing and how much weight they want to lose! Of course, the media are also quick to fuel this band wagon meaning that tv and radio adverts are constantly promoting the latest diet craze, to help you to ‘become the best version of you’ or how good you can feel through losing weight. As an average person, being surrounded by this focus and talk of diets makes it pretty hard not to get sucked in and jump head first in to the whirlwind of comparisons and negative self-talk. So what does it mean for those who already have a difficult relationship with food? Those recovering from an eating disorder? Hard work – and that’s putting it very lightly.

Goals & Reflections

Considering January is whizzing by, I felt it was only right for this post to focus on the goals that I have for 2019. I’ve always been a person that thrives from setting goals. I think it can be so easy to fall in to a routine, for things to remain exactly the same & if you’re happy, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! However, if you’re like me and find yourself day dreaming about what your life could look like, but nothing actually changing- then goals are the way forward. I love having things to aim towards and being mindful that I am taking steps to achieve them. Also, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy looking back at the end of the year and seeing how many of my resolutions I can tick off! So this year I especially wanted to make sure I make the most of the year and incorporate all the changes, trips and activities that I want to do.

A Year Absent From Blogging

‘Continue regular posts on my Instagram and blog’ (Kirsty, Dec 2017). Well, considering we are in January 2019 and it’s been approximately an entire year since my last blog post, I think we can safely say that, that particular resolution went well and truly out of the window!

So where have I been? Without going in to a whole load of detail, 2018 was definitely a whirlwind of a year and came with many ups and downs, to put it lightly! I’m sure I’ll be getting in to the ins and outs of the year in future posts, but for now I’ll save you the details. Let’s just say the year started with some amazing positives, which involved me following my dream to explore Australia & Bali and then went on to end with a bit of a bump and my biggest relapse to date. Nothing like a good cliffhanger, is there!?