I display photos on my instagram that are positive and highlight memorable good times and things that I get up to. It’s amazing to be a positive influence but I feel honesty is most definitely important too.
I am proud to say that I have come so far and am in a place that’s 1000x better than a year ago. I now go out and do amazing things and create memories. I’ve got back in to things I am passionate about, a circle of friends that remind me how lucky I am on a daily basis without them even realising. I do a job that makes me so proud and allows me to make a difference on a daily basis. Things are positive.
Do I have bad days? Do I have days where I just want to hide from the world? Do I bite peoples heads off occasionally without even realising it? Do I sometimes sit thinking of every possible negative? Do I cry? Do I have days where it’s impossible for me to just ‘cheer up’? Do I make mistakes?
The answer to all of the above is YES – of course I do!! Not only am I in recovery from mental illness, I’m also human and with that comes feelings and experiences that we can’t always label as ‘positive’.
It’s so easy to look through peoples instagram uploads and start to feel down about yourself and comparing it to your life. It’s important to remember that even the most well-known privileged people that spend their time jetting around the world attending big events are also, guess what? Human. They have bad days, things aren’t always as perfect as they seem. We are all human no matter what our circumstances or lifestyle- we just don’t post all the negative moments and feelings because why would we? We want to celebrate our individual journeys through life, show the things that we love and the amazing places that we see. I think this is perfectly fine, but I also feel personally, that it’s important for me to give an honest insight.
With my current circumstances I battle my mental illness on a daily basis. Sometimes, that battle barely affects my day- but other times it completely takes over. This can be anything from extremely low moods to negative thoughts and beliefs around eating/weight that are sometimes stronger than I am. I have days where all I want to do is sit and cry and beg people around me to make me feel better or change things. Ultimately, I know that it’s only me that can do something to change things. I know that those feelings won’t last forever and whatever I’m feeling will pass and I know that when it does I will pick myself back up and start again. The difference is before I would give in to the thoughts and feelings and let them not only destroy a day but they would consume weeks or even months. Now, I’m not only stronger but I challenge myself and have a better mindset. I know exactly where I want to be and that keeps me moving forward on a daily basis- it makes the battle worth fighting.
Ultimately, I wanted this
post to remind everyone that we all have bad days, hurdles along the way and,
putting it bluntly- shit happens. It’s about learning to accept and manage the
lows and use them as motivation to get back up and do the things you love.
Nobody is perfect and your biggest motivation should always be yourself.
I hope you've all had a fab Bank Holiday weekend!
