‘Continue regular posts on my Instagram and blog’ (Kirsty, Dec 2017).
Well, considering we are in January 2019 and it’s been approximately an entire
year since my last blog post, I think we can safely say that, that particular
resolution went well and truly out of the window!
So where have I been? Without going in to a whole load of
detail, 2018 was definitely a whirlwind of a year and came with many ups and
downs, to put it lightly! I’m sure I’ll be getting in to the ins and outs of
the year in future posts, but for now I’ll save you the details. Let’s just say
the year started with some amazing positives, which involved me following my
dream to explore Australia & Bali and then went on to end with a bit of a
bump and my biggest relapse to date. Nothing like a good cliffhanger, is
there!?
So I guess there are many reasons why I stopped posting.
It’s been a pretty hectic year, for parts I was too busy cuddling Koalas,
jumping out of helicopters and exploring Bali beaches, but there was definitely
another side to it. Throughout my downward spiral, I got the point where I felt
that what I had to say didn’t matter. I felt, and to some extent still feel,
like I don’t have a voice. Not only that, I became so consumed with those
around me and their opinions on my experiences, that it felt almost impossible
to share things.
So why have I come back to the blog? In short, because I
absolutely love it and always have! If you’ve read any of my previous posts,
you will know that writing is a great outlet for me. I find it therapeutic and
genuinely just love getting my thoughts out. I’ve never been the best at
talking about things, so writing is a great alternative for me. Not only this, I still want to support others
that may be on a similar path to me. I find it so comforting, motivating and
helpful to read other blogs, so aside from doing this for me- if I can provide
that same support to even just one more person, it’s worth every word. In
regards to the concerns of what other people think, I’m trying the whole who
cares approach. A friend recently said to me, ‘you have a mental illness and
with that comes choices. You can either pretend it doesn’t exist (which is
pretty impossible) or use your experience to help others’. As I’m now back on the recovery band wagon and
this time giving it my all, I want to use this platform to log my journey - not
just in recovery, but in discovering who I am without being consumed by my
eating disorder. I plan to share my highs, lows and everything in between through
recovery, but also want to write about my journey of figuring out exactly who I
am and what I enjoy. I’m at the very early stages of completely rebuilding
myself, so I’ll be logging the process of making sure that my mental health
becomes just a part of who I am and not my entire existence.
So, all being well, I will be aiming to post on a weekly
basis, which is going to be a challenge! Not through laziness or not wanting to,
but in just tackling the self-doubt gremlin and remembering that what I have to
say does matter.
On another note, I hope everyone had the most amazing
Christmas, New Year celebrations, and just a generally positive 2018. Let’s
make sure 2019 is a good one!
‘What the New Year
brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the New Year’
KB x
No comments