23 years of age… Expectations vs reality
To some degree we’ve all felt at some point that we have expectations
hanging over us. Whether they are our own or are from parents, friends or even
society in general- either way if we let them they can have a huge impact on
the way we think of ourselves and our mindset in general.
I’ve always been a planner and throughout my teenage years I
thought I had it all figured out and new exactly what the future looked like. I’ve
learnt that life has plans of its own for you and things don’t always work out
quite the way you expect them too, but that’s ok!
Well, if you read my last post you’ll know I’m giving my job up to go backpacking around Australia early in 2018, so this expectation didn’t make the cut. Life gave me a slightly different path career wise. I never really knew exactly what I wanted to do, which meant from the age of 16-19 I job hopped. Education wasn’t for me so I knew that university wasn’t right, so was unsure of where I was heading for quite some time! My own experience with mental health lead to me to the role I’m in now and to be honest it’s been the best thing that’s happened to me. I love my job and have met people that will always be a huge part of my life! So my route wasn’t quite expected, but I ended up exactly where I wanted to be!
Aged 23 and still living at home with the parents AND WHAT!?
I’m fortunate enough to have had no reason to move out, living at home has
meant that I can save my earnings on my travel plans and the things I want to
do. After all, they do say that your 20’s are your selfish years!
3) I’ll be settled in to a relationship
planning a family LOL…Firstly, the word ‘settle’ just doesn’t sit well with me. Secondly, I’ve not met ‘the one’ and am very much single AND happy about it! Kids? I’m still learning to look after my self never mind thinking about bringing a mini me in to the world… theres plenty of time for that!! I remember when I was a lot younger I always thought I’d be married and settled by my early twenties- and yes many people that I went to school with are! My journey just hasn’t worked out that way, I’ve had different experiences and my lifes took a slightly different path but you know what, that’s more than ok!! I’m living my life and experiencing all of the things I want to do. You cant put a plan on things like that, it will happen when it happens! Fate knows that I am definitely not ready for that just yet!!
4) I’ll have the work/life balance down perfectly
Again, LOL. Sometimes I have to ask my self what balance actually means! On a serious note, I am getting better at it! I’m still working out how to balance work, fitness, family, friends as well as finding time for my self. Lets just call this one a permanent work in progress!
5) I’ll know exactly who I am, what I want etc- I’ll have it all figured out
I’ve spent a huge part of my life ‘people pleasing’, following the crowd and doing things because others are doing it. It’s only recently that I’ve grown the confidence to become my own person and learn to love and accept all the positives, flaws and everything in between. I’m very much still learning all of that and by no means have it all figured out. I’m looking forward to travelling outside of my comfort zone and learning more about who I am and what makes me tick.
6) I’ll be fully independent and won’t need to rely on anybody other than myself EVER…
I mean, this expectation shouldn’t even exist! We can’t always be able to deal with every single thing without help and support. I’m generally a really independent person but occasionaly, like every one else, I need reassurance, advice or even just a hug. The world would be an extremely lonely place if we all just got on with things on our own. It’s healthy to support others and let them support us! It’s definitely not something you should beat yourself up over!
So I guess the point of this is to have goals, work towards
your dreams and ambitions but please, do not put pressure on yourself to live
your life the way you think you should. We all have our own path and what I’ve
learnt more than anything is that everything happens for a reason and shapes us
in to who we are. Sometimes plans fall to pieces and things may feel like they’re
falling apart, just take a step back and realise that fate has a different path
for you. If you’re focused on your dreams and ambitions they all come through
in good time. You are you, it doesn’t matter that your friend has a completely
different path, it doesn’t matter if you’re 30+ living at home unsure of where
your life is going. Your time will come, don’t ever give up. Have dreams, make
plans, treasure every day and life will happen.
I'm glad I haven't met the above expectations, if I had I wouldn't be where I am today. Don't put unnecessary pressures on yourself. Live your truth, do the things you want to do, see the places you want to see & please, don't end up living with regrets because you did what you thought was expected of you. Create your path and who cares if it's different to those around you!
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