When I first started this blog alongside my Instagram it was
for many different reasons. However, one of my priorities was to log my
recovery journey in the most honest way, to give people an insight and
understanding as well as, hopefully, being a comfort for those going through
similar experiences.
So I guess this post is about that- honesty. It’s a reminder that everyone’s lives aren’t always
what they seem from their Instagram and that’s perfectly ok.
Over the past couple of weeks those looking at my Instagram
will have seen all of the exciting things that I got up to...a week off work
filled with meals out, V festival, afternoon tea, cocktails in Manchester- you
name it! Those that read the photo captions will have had a little insight to
things not being quite as perfect as they seem- but still, very positive posts.
What you don’t however see is how a simple week off can
contribute so significantly to my mental health problems in perhaps a negative
way.
Not only was I going out of my comfort zone to social
events and eating foods that my eating disorder would scream no at- I was also
out of my usual routine. It’s triggered my anxiety to go through the roof and
my negativity popping its head out much more frequently than I’d like. I’ve
spent the last few days in such a negative mindset, wanting to hide away in bed
with no motivation to do things. So why?
Most people would love a week off doing nothing but coffee
dates, cocktails and indulging. Why is it something that doesn’t sit well with
me? I only ever have time off work to travel/holidays which is something I love,
but I thought I’d test the waters with a simple week off staying put and catching
up with people. Why was it different? I would often ask myself this and beat myself
up for why I can’t be like a ‘normal’ person. I’m learning to tell myself that it’s ok.
Nobody can be in the place I was 12 months ago and just have a straight forward
positive recovery with no lapses or hurdles along the way. Recovery isn’t
linear- it’s taking the downs with the ups and learning from it all. Stepping
outside of my routine and comfort zone is bound to affect me, it’s something I
have avoided and have carried such negative thoughts and beliefs around for so
long that just aren’t that simple to break.
Recovery is based upon percentages, definitely not
perfection. I may not be where I want to be yet but I’m constantly trying and
working to get to that point and I’ve come such a long way from this time last
year.
So for those of you in a similar situation or if you are
generally having a tough week- here’s what I do to get myself back up….
1)
Routine- Get back in to a routine with my work,
blog, sleep, fitness, food. Everything! I find having structure to my days
makes me much more productive and helps to keep me grounded.
2)
People- Surround myself with the people that
make me feel good, understand me and most importantly accept me for who I am!
3)
Self-Development books- Nothing beats an hour of
going offline to lose yourself in a good book. Just lately self-development
books are my guilty pleasure, helping me to understand and build on my
difficulties.
4)
Outdoors- I’m definitely becoming more ‘out-doorsy’
I don’t think you can beat a wander outside to clear your mind!
5)
Make plans- Life is never going to be exciting
if you don’t have goals or plans to work towards! I’m heading to Bali in
October, where next?
My blog has been neglected for quite some time, I’ve been
questioning myself and my abilities to write. So here’s me setting a goal of a
minimum of 1 post per week. I want to blog about different aspects of my life,
adventures, travels, fitness etc. Of course mental health will be a part of the
posts as it’s a part of my life however there is more to me than my mental
health and I look forward to sharing it with you!
K x
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