Recovery

I like to compare recovery to being on the road- heading somewhere. You are aware that it’s going to be a really long journey and it is likely that there will be obstacles to make the trip more difficult but that doesn’t mean they don’t overwhelm or shock you when they occur. These obstacles could be anything from long traffic where you feel like you just aren’t moving forward to closed roads where you have to take a different route. The point is to keep going- no matter how difficult the journey is or how many times you feel that you can’t continue, it’s about remembering how much you need to get to the destination and all the positives that will come from you getting there.

Linking this in to my current situation for the last couple of months I have experienced some huge obstacles, some of which made me feel like giving up and almost certain that I would never reach where I’m heading. My thoughts and moods have dragged me down and consequently my lack of motivation has kept me at a standstill. I’ve found functioning in day to day life extremely hard and being completely honest I can’t recall a week where I’ve not had some form of meltdown. This explains why my blog has been neglected for a good while- It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write, its one of my favourite things to do, I guess I’ve just not been in the right frame of mind and my thoughts got the better of me. This has caused me to have to take a new route down my road to recovery in the form of different types of support, medication and coping strategies. I’m back on my mission to get back in control, put myself back in the driving seat and be in charge of the direction I’m heading instead of the thoughts, feelings and anxiety making the decisions for me.

 

One thing I can say though is I’ve done my very best and fought to not turn around and go back. I’ve been determined to not let myself go completely backwards by missing meals or falling in to any other previous behaviours. This is massively important and no, I haven’t been perfect but I’ve certainly put up a good fight and that’s exactly what I’ll continue to do. So yes, I may be at a bit of a standstill, I may have to keep trying different routes and yes I feel exhausted and out of my depth but I will keep going and I will carry on my journey to recovery because I know just how worth it it will be. I know I’m heading to a place where I can live a happy and positive life where I’m fully in control of my mental illness rather than it being in control of me. The process until then may feel tough and I may not always be able to find the positives but overall it’s making me a stronger person and is contributing to the person I’ll be at the other side of the struggles.

I’m going to do my best to stay on top of the blog and keep writing, so keep checking back for future posts. To any readers who are experiencing similar struggles please remember that no matter how tough the journey- you will get to the other end, it’s just about believing it and never giving up.